IT All Started with the Stupid Little Box Thing
by Elocindragon
Summary: This was written with Aldaron Moonfaling!So equal credit. In the dairies of Lord Vader, he recounts an excrucating event that will forever distrub your thoughts about the stupid, evil, little droid things in episode 4 that rome aimlessly about the Death S


It All Started with the Stupid Box Thing

Aldaron Moonfaling & Elocindragon's Disclaimer: WE don't own anything related or affiliated with Star Wars or George Lucas etc...

Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End

From the anonymous crumply, bobby trapped, conspicuous, and anti-religious pages of Vader the Darth's Lavatory of Literature…

It all started with the stupid box thing…

I was stalking along not really minding my own beeswax, when in fact I don't have any wax of any sort, because I just so happened to be a pasty white British guy in space where there is no Britain and is never going to be any kind of Britain when the…the…sorry this is hard for me. When the floor abruptly decided to hurl itself at my mug (you know the face, the thing between your forehead and chin). After detaching myself from a surface that I was sure happened to be contaminated by Mr. Clean, I saw it; the infuriatingly timid stupid little box thing had come out of nowhere. I gave it a look of absolute incredulity. With a tiny squeak it sped off in the direction I just came fromith. Supremely angered I lifted my hulking form from Mr. Clean's floor, and drew my formidable blood red lightsaber into my gloved fist and charged.

I raced after the speeding mechanical box thing letting forth a boisterous battle bellow, lightsaber raised for the kill. I knocked over who knows how many storm troopers, several commanding officers, and governor Tarkin having his daily cream and sugar, in my vexed pursuit. Little did I know that all those passersby I had bypassed became curious at my behavior and therefore pea-brainedly decided to follow me through the many corridors and hallways of the battle station.

I skidded around a corner and froze in my tracks. Disturbing waves of Corellian rap caused me to stagger backwards and lift an eyebrow, even though my eye lifting action could not penetrate my mask. Several hundred troopers were in full swing moving to the beat of the head banging music when I and my entourage invaded their party atmosphere.

All several hundred troops halted their "dancing" and turned as if sensing my presence through the force, as if!

"Okay… don't you have anything better to do?" I asked more than a little provoked. I then sped off away from the stunned troops to continue my quest of permantly deactivating the box thing. Ironic really, I did actually have better things to do, but even a sith lord has his moments of insurrection.

Aha, there I saw it again within my range of force enhanced vision at the end of a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, did I happen to mention a very long hallway, turning a corner of the metal labyrinth. I brought my mechanical legs to lift themselves once again into trivial chase.

"Come back here you little ingrate! You dare wheel yourself away from me, Darth Vader Lord of the malignant Sith!" I yelled after the little black dot in the distance. I boosted my speed using the force to bring myself almost within striking distance of the little abomination. Then as if sensing my closing in closer proximity it sped off even farther than before, as if! I strained my force abilities to the breaking point trying to bring myself closer to the tiny box thing.

I passed two red blurs holding pikes and herd a desperate "Halt!" in the background, but never mind that it was time to focus on the here and now not the present past.

I glimpsed the box thing speed through a set of elaborately decorated double doors. _Ha yes!_ Finally I have cornered the little box thing in a room of no escape. I hurled myself past the doors and into the darkened room beyond.

Stopping to guard the entrance from a possible double backing of the escapee I savored the moment. Although I could not see in the dark I felt its mechanical perverse presence marring the force.

"You cannot hid forever little box thing!" I threatened to the gloom. "Giver yourself to the dark side of my anger!" I recall a brief pause then, I heard a voice that made my already cold blood freeze.

"Lord Vader, I demand an explanation for this outrage!"

_Oh crap._ Too late I realized I had just invaded Emperor Palpatine's private quarters. Things could only get worse.

(Note: Chapter 2 coming soon!)

**Aldaron Moonfaling & Elocindragon:**_ Evil cliffhangers, sorry but they happen and it is against our better judgments to change what is already destined to come to past. See you at the next exciting chapter of It All Started with the Stupid Little Box Thing! Please review this nonsense! _


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